Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Inter-Village Orgy League Match Tactics

Of course a cona… a conos… a conni… a person interested in the finer points of orgy tactics such as your erstwhile self will be familiar with most plays utilised in Inter-Village orgies, especially the deployment of the devices during set plays like penalties, offside and the free fondle in the opposition’s box.

One of the trademarks of Little Frigging’s success in the Inter-Village Orgy league this year has been our use of the Surprise Oiled-Weasel, inserted around the opposition’s rear. This has often thrown the opposing team into chaos, thus breaking down their defence and allowing our forwards to score with impunity. However, opposing teams are now becoming wise to this. After all, only last week Titten-Growper’s centre-rear fondler, Cindy Transept, managed to send the oiled-weasels completely the wrong way, thus leaving Strom Thighhammer in a very exposed position as the Titten-Growper defence bore down on him, devices at the ready.

Luckily, though, the Little Frigging centre-midfield open groper Margie Mingefinger managed to slip through on the blindside of the Titten-Growper defence, as they went all out for the over-exposed Thighhammer, thus enabling her to score a touch-up and gain a free fondle in the goalkeeper’s box with a semi-intrigued chicken just as the referee was blown for full time.

Final score:

Little Frigging in the Wold: 27 points (one touch-up, 7 goals and a bewildering mallard duck)

Titten-Growper: 17 points (two touch-ups, one penalty fondle and one own-weasel.)

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