Monday, March 23, 2009

The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad

Of course, applying the grommet to the seating point just under the offside mud flap of your oiled and naked Left Inside Full-Frontal Forward Wingback is quite an easy and straightforward piece of elementary orgy squad maintenance, nothing at all complex as a complete re-wiring of your Right Middlefield Outside Groper.

This is why I always maintain that a good Inter-Village Orgy League touchline coaching team should always have a full set (both metric and imperial) of sexual perversion spanners available at all times. You never know whether – for example – your Centre Fondler is ever going to be quite perverted enough on a muddy pitch until she is out there getting a good grasp on the opponent’s intimate defences.

Now, you may say that this is all well and good, but shouldn’t a good orgy League squad be chosen and balanced to cover all sorts of contingences on the orgy field without having to make such adjustments and repairs during the match? I would agree – in an ideal world – that it would be so.

However, this is far from an ideal world – just look for example at the price of a decent pint of beer. But I digress. There is always something unforeseen in each and every match in the Inter-Village Orgy League, that is why it is all so fascinating. Injuries, of course, are the most common problem, from a slightly bruised ardour right up to the dreaded itchy knee, but there are always tactical considerations to take into account when taking those instant decisions that can – and do – win or lose a match.

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