It is with something - slightly - resembling a pleasurable sensation that we announce that this evening
Miss Constance Goodhead
will give a performance of
Spritz von Todger's
Trouserflute Sonata in Cmen, opus 3.142
Little-Frigging-In-The-Wold Village Hall
£10.00 ([Un-]Dress Circle*)
Full-colour illustrated Souvenir Programme
(including helpful numbered diagrams) - £12.50
(for plain brown wrapping, please add 75p)
Doors Open: 7:30 pm
Programme Commences: 8:30 pm
Interval: 9:15 pm
(Full body massage (with optional cream cakes) will be available in the foyer)
Programme Ends: 10:30 pm
(Please note all times are approximate).
Important: please make sure ALL mobile phones, pagers, remotely-operated sexual aids and other such devices are switched OFF before entering the auditorium.
[Miss Goodhead's kneepads sponsored by Splodge & Sons (Purveyors of Marital and Sexual aids to the gentry since 1789).]
*Extra-High Power Opera Glasses (with Lo-Lite facility) available (£1.50 + [refundable] £2.00 deposit**)
**ALL deposits to be the full responsibility of the patron (free tissues on request).