Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Twelve Sexual Perversions That Changed The World - A Review

This book, by Little-Frigging-In-The-Wold's only true celebrity, Lord Mervin (Luxuriant) Hairstylings, the presenter of TV's long running South Bonk and of In Our Tupping Shed on Radio 4, is a robust defence and celebration of the perverted arts and their place in civilised society. In fact, Lord Hairstylings goes much further than that to assert that it is sexual deviation, experimentation and, yes, perversion that shapes and defines civilisation itself.

Hairstylings argues that once the basics of any civilisation: a food supply, housing, security and so on are more or less in place the ever-inventive human mind then begins to look for ways to make basic sexual intercourse more interesting. Illustrating his argument with many examples drawn from the histories of Western, Eastern and many other civilisations, Hairstylings build up an impressive case.

However, there are a few quibbles. For instance, is wearing a full Chelsea football strip a full-blown perversion, or just a mere kink? Hairstylings argument that it all depends on who you support (i.e. that for a Chelsea fan it would be a mere kink, whereas for a Manchester United supporter, for example, it would be an outright perversion) ultimately fails to convince.

Additionally, there seems to be a severe paucity of marmalade-related deviations and perversions to fully satisfy this review's notion of the perverse, especially considering the role played by marmalade-based perversions in the overthrow of Moorish rule in Spain, just by way of one example. Furthermore, I don't believe you need anywhere near the amount of butter suggested by Hairstylings, for the 'Crouching Stockbroker, Lubricated Traffic Warden' perversion. However, to be fair to Hairstylings, I do agree with him about the importance of the correct placement of the spanners, something that is still quite contentious to this day wherever true perverts gather in conversation.

So, in conclusion, although I don't think Hairstylings entirely convinces, I do feel that this work will go down in history as one of the truly great books on sexual perversion. Therefore, I cannot recommend it too highly.

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