Today there is little we denizens of Little Frigging can do to counter the feelings of ennui we feel as the Inter-Village Perversion League season for 2008/9 winds down to a close. There is something dispiriting about finishing mid-table. A feeling that if it were not for the injuries – one week four of our top players were all out with the dreaded itchy knee, and our leading free fondle scorer, Strom Thighhammer, was suffering with a severely dented ardour – we would have made a much stronger showing this season.
There is also the related point that if it were not for some moments of good luck:
- a last minute orgasm denial against Lower Crotchstaine,
- a controversial decision by the referee to deny a free fondle to Tupping-on-the-Marsh leaving us to win the match by only 3 points and a quite confused chicken,
- Much Piddling’s full frontal attack by their leading scorer, Dilly Tanty, thwarted by an errant divot on a very muddy perversion pitch,
then we could have been looking at relegation. The point where going down takes on quite a different meaning and is far from the crowd-pleasing spectacle it can be on the orgy pitch.
Still, though, we are quietly confident that next season will be much kinder to our team. For, I – for one - have a feeling that, with the aid of some photographs acquired by Grand Uncle Stagnant of the events immediately after the bar closed at the Inter-Village Perversion League Referees And Other Allied Match Officials Annual Dinner Dance last month, these crucial refereeing decisions will – at last – begin to go more our way.