Saturday, April 11, 2009

Free Range Hairstylists

Perhaps it is one of those days. Then again, perhaps it isn’t. It is often quite hard to tell without lifting the day up and reading what is printed on the underside of it. Anyway, be that as it may, and it probably will be, until proved otherwise, it in now time to get on with preparing for the brand new Spring that is almost upon us.

After doing a full survey of the Upper Lower pasture, we will have Old Feebletrousers give it the once over with his Feral Banjo Detecting Divining Rod. It is not a pretty sight, having Old Feebletrousers striding towards you over an open pasture with his rod twitching eagerly in his hand. So, I will have to make sure that Maureen has rounded up any errant Free-Range Hairstylists wandering around near the pasture and put them, temporarily, in the North Tupping Shed.

Once Old Feebletrousers has guaranteed the pasture is free of any traces of feral banjos, and when we have checked the pasture is free of wild accordion spoor, we will begin the laborious process of moving the free-range hairstylists down into the Upper Lower pasture.

Herding hairstylists is - of course – never easy, as any bright shiny object so easily distracts them. As you know hairstylists are seemingly obsessed with glossy magazines, so that if you happen – by mistake – to wander into any hairstylist den, or ‘salon’ as it is sometimes known, you will almost immediately encounter whole piles of glossy magazines.

Some of these glossy magazines have developed a special and unique symbiotic relationship with hairstylists and are, consequently, never seen outside of hairstylist dens. Which is – I suppose – quite lucky really as they usually contain a slew of articles so brain-numbingly dull that they make the prospect of encountering the comparative intellectual rigours of daytime TV an almost tempting alternative.

Anyway, once the ground in the Upper Lower pasture is no longer too muddy for their delicate high-heels then we will begin herding the hairstylists down there so they can spend the pre-holiday months of their summer in comparative luxury.

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