However, as we stand here resplendent in our village orgy shin pads, mittens and elbow-restraints, let us pause for a moment and remember those who have gone (and – of course – come) before us. Free-To-All-Comers Orgies - as a person of your wide experience must be all too willing to attest – are not without their pitfalls.
Although, having said that, there is a putative EU ruling about the use of pitfalls in orgy rooms and on perversion pitches currently before the EU Chamber of Ministers, despite the strong – and very vocal – opposition to such an imposition on the freedoms of the orgiastically-inclined to use whatever methods they deem appropriate to keep the riff-raff out.
Therefore, the Grand Order of Orgy Masters, Perversion Majors-Lieutenants and Other Erstwhile and Allied Rude and Naughty Persons of Good Standing have decreed that:
henceforth - and until they see the good sense of rescinding these proposals - that ALL members of the government, their agents, underlings and supporters be barred from taking part in any organised orgy, perversion event or any other gathering of a rude, moist and naughty nature.
Rumour has it that there is already movement afoot within the corridors of power to reverse all decisions made on this subject, and – if necessary – for the UK to withdraw from the EU unless this course of action is halted. It is said by political commentators that they have not seen the wheels of government turn this fast since the last time the perks and privileges of the government and its various toadies were under threat of termination.
A Lesson for us all there, I believe.