Saturday, April 4, 2009

A Savage Flock Of Bestial Accordions

Well, it never ever really seems like the right time for anything to perturb your flock of breeding lawyers, but soon the lawyer mating season will be on us once again. Therefore, we have no real choice, but to get the glossy magazines out again.

Still, we do now have all the wind-powered weasels in their sties, ready for when the hunt begins. All winter there has been talk of at least a brace, and maybe even a whole herd, of feral accordions at large in the big wood down in the valley. We have seen some seriously wounded undomesticated estate agents, and a few wild hairdressers with post-accordion trauma, that have managed to escape alive from those woods. Their wounds bear all the telltale signs of attack by feral accordions with the marks made by the keys of these savage beasts clearly visible.

Of course, we have to hope that the accordions stay in the woods and don't come out to prowl around the breeding lawyer pens at this delicate time of the year. If the breeding lawyers are perturbed at the wrong time, especially by a savage flock of bestial accordions then the whole breeding season could be lost. As they only come into season once every five years, you can see the devastating consequences for yourselves. Breeding lawyers are not easy to mate at the best of times, making captive pandas look like publicity-hungry c-list celebrities in their sexual antics.

So, all in all, a busy and stressful time of year for us rural folk.

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