Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Youthful Erections

As it happens the moistness or otherwise of a small furry mammal matters little when trying to bring it up to full operating temperature. You may feel that such a nugget of information would be of little use as you transverse this life towards its ultimate and unavoidable end, and you would be right. That is why I suggest you immediately forget it, and instead concentrate on finding information that you will find beneficial as you go about doing what you normally go about doing. That is, of course, unless you normally go about collecting useless information, in which case the aforesaid small animal moistness will no doubt be of significance to you.

Now, moving on, perhaps we can find something of interest over in this other bucket across the other side of the tupping shed from where the moist furry mammals are coming up to temperature.


Now, there are not many people who fully appreciate the subtle delights that a bucket full of assorted nuts, bolts, washers and grommets can bring to those of a more adventurous cast of mind, especially in the field (or in this case, the Tupping Shed) of perversions. Now, those who were young boys in the days of yore will not need me to tell them of the erotic delights of metalwork. That is, especially those who liked to secrete themselves in their bedroom during their childhood years in order to play with their very own erector set. For there is many a man of a certain age who can trace his now mature love of screwing back to those first tentative grapplings and gropings with his Meccano set.

It is fascinating how those youthful pastimes prepare us for adulthood. For example, it was in those first flushes of youthful exuberance that we learnt to take a firm grip on our tools as we studied the requisite literature, a talent that a man will need and use throughout his lifetime. We learn the importance of adequate lubrication, and how to be careful when twisting our nuts, as well as the correct direction in which to screw, of course, and many, many lessons that will hold us in good stead as we continue on life’s journey, including life’s most important lesson, never let your tool get rusty.

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