Of course, one of the greatest philosophical problems of applied perversion is The Naked Traffic Warden paradox. Quite simply, it asks whether a naked traffic warden is – for the purposes of perversion – still a traffic warden. For it is the uniform of the traffic warden that signifies, that sets this person out, as a traffic warden. Therefore, removing the uniform makes that person just another ordinary person and the act then becomes un-perverse. To be naked, you have to – obviously – remove the uniform – but to remove the uniform is also to take away the very perversion itself, as it is only the person’s status as a traffic warden that moved the act into the state of the perverse. Without the uniform, it just becomes ordinary sex – which may be god enough for the hoi-polloi, but for the truly perverse, it is – at best – merely adequate.
This paradox has usually been resolved – in practical cases – by having the traffic warden keep his, her, - or, in more advanced perversions, their - official traffic warden cap on. For this can be seen to fulfil the necessary conditions for the naked traffic warden in that he, she or they, are naked, but, still, retain some of the status necessary to make the act perverse by retaining the official traffic warden cap.