It is not often appreciated just how often one may need to don one’s thermal outdoor fetish gear during the spring and autumn months. The variations in the weather during these most changeable seasons mean that for the outdoor perversion enthusiast it is often quite a problem to find the most conducive operating temperature for one’s perversion gear, devices and utensils.
To take just one item at random from my perversion utility belt. I am sure we are all very familiar with the narrow operational temperature of weasel spleen oil: too cold, it has all the lubricating capability of a wire brush, too hot, and it evaporates before it even touches the skin of your cake shop manageress or suitably restrained postmistress.
Cold weather too, can make battery-operated devices sluggish. The damp can make certain other devices short-circuit, and such sudden burst of high electrical activity are not what most of us want from devices inserted - or inserting into such devices - intimate parts of the body*. As for a sudden sharp frost in the crevices, I think the less we dwell upon that at this juncture the better. This also reminds me about the effect the damp weather can have on joints, especially for those of us no longer in the first flush of youth.
So, the invention of this Thermostatically-Controlled Thermal Outdoor Fetish Gear has – to those of us who have suffered the deprecations inflicted by these changeable seasons - has no doubt been a boon. Most importantly, to those of us that enjoy our outdoor fetishes on a heavier, or even muddy, orgy pitch, then the way modern thermal outdoor fetish gear offers a complete seamless and impermeable integration with one’s fetish wellies, is a complete joy. Especially when the thermal leggings have integral perversion shin-pad retaining straps. Wipe-clean elbow-pads and kneepads are also a must-have, especially if the orgy pitch has recently suffered from prolonged rain showers. However, to my mind, the integrated snorkel may prove unnecessary, unless the locality is very prone to heavy flooding, of course.
The recent addition of emergency grab handles to various parts of the thermal outdoor fetish gear, which enable one’s partner - or partners - in the orgy or perversion to maintain a good solid hold on one’s person, despite, for example, the slippy ground underfoot, shows that the manufacturers have been paying attention to their customer’s demands and suggestions.
The only doubts I have are whether the supplied rechargeable battery pack for the thermostatically controlled integral body heaters may not be quite up to the full rigours of an entire orgy. However, it must be said that once the orgy or other deviation is well underway, one’s own body heat should be more than adequate, and the battery-powered heating can then be dispensed with.
So, all in all, I would recommend this Thermostatically-Controlled Thermal Outdoor Fetish Gear wholeheartedly. It can – of course – be ordered from the latest Splodge & sons Sex Aids Spring 2009 Catalogue.
*of course, there are more specialised devices that some people seem to enjoy which are designed to do just this sort of thing. Here of course I’m discussing devices, which – in the normal course of perversion or deviation – are not meant to deliver electric shocks to the person utilising them.