Sometimes, it seems there is nothing any of us can do to put a stop to the savage wailing of the wild accordions, as they go on yet another rampage through our local woods. Time and again, we hear the bestial wailing of the accordions and then the terrified shrieks and screams of the hairstylists as they are driven from their tree-top nests to flee in panic from tree to tree across the woods, often leaving all their styling brushes behind.
It seems that we only have one choice remaining. A choice we have to make with caution and reluctance, and not a little trepidation. As you probably know, the wild accordion has only one natural predator: the fully-bearded folk singer.
Of course, there was a time, long gone now, when folk singers used to run wild and free all over this fair land. But, after the now-legendary folk revival of the 1960s, they were savagely culled. It was thought - at the time - that the folk singers would pose a serious threat to the then still-delicate and barely formed pop music industry. Back in those days, though, no-one realised that the intensive farming of pop music - often with performers kept in cruel battery conditions - would lead to the bland stagnation of the current mass-produced pop scene.
So there is always the danger that if the folk singers are allowed to go wild and breed freely then there could easily be another folk music revival, which is something that all of us should view with some trepidation, as in itself it could presage an outbreak of blatant, no-holds barred Morris Dancing.