Friday, June 12, 2009

Post-Orgy Cream Cake Misuse

Now, let me see. No, go on, don’t be shy. As a professional free-range hairstylist herder and farm-assured lawyer breeder, you could say that I’m a man of the world (and Bromsgrove). There isn’t much that I haven’t seen, and not much I haven’t tried - not without suitable lubrication anyway.

Not only that, as a swift perusal of the archives of this blog would attest, I have a wide familiarity with all kinds of small furry animals, especially in relation to their erotic possibilities.

Yes, indeed those do indeed look like weasel footprints.

Yes, indeed, I have seen them on the inner thigh before.

Personally, I would hazard a guess that you utilised some cream cakes, originally intended for the post-orgy tea and cakes for a purpose associated with exploring the outer limits of the erotic. Is that true?

No, dear, don’t worry, we are all young – at least once. Why I remember a time when I… well let’s say it involved a cream horn, a chocolate éclair and a couple of eager young stable girls from Jenny Moist-Gusset’s Little Frigging Riding School.

Ah….

Anyway, back to the matter in hand…. Yes, indeed, it does feel rather warm… but... anyway… where was I?

Oh, yes. I think what probably happened was that you probably fell asleep after your orgiastic exertions, and still with traces of cream cake around your… er… person. I suppose it is one of the hazards of outdoor orgies at this time of year. There are always scavengers about, seeing what they can pick up from the inevitable detritus around the edges of any human activity, and I don’t mean just Grand Old Uncle Stagnant either.

Just look upon it as a learning experience, my dear. Now while you are here there are a couple of matters you could assist me with. No, there is no need to put your clothes back on just yet.

In fact, if you could just place your left leg here, rotate the melon in an anti-clockwise direction, clutch this marmoset in your left hand and….

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