Monday, July 6, 2009

Heatwave

I must apologise for the brief hiatus in this… this… whatever it is during the early part of last week, and offer my sincere regrets for any interruption in your erstwhile perusal of my organ. However, the hiatus was not without just cause. As you well know by now*, Hairstylists can be finicky livestock at times. The unseasonably hot weather had caused them to think that they were on holiday in sunnier climes**, and so our herds of pedigree farm-assured hairstylists had, therefore, been wandering around looking for sunbathing beaches during the heat of the day, with - of course - the consequential removal of most, if not all, of their protective clothing.

More significantly, once the dark of evening arrived, they had been looking for all-night clubs, bars and discos, all with the adjacent back alleys that are so vital for the successful culmination of their mating rituals.

Consequently, to avoid the hairstylists entering the breeding cycle far too early I had to spend the best part of last week hosing down the entire herd of hairstylists with cold water.

Therefore, I had to spend the hottest part of each day clutching my hose as tightly as possible, while spraying it over several hundred nubile, naked and sexually-(over)charged hairstylists as they herded past me. This has - inevitably - left me with very sore wrists that now make typing rather difficult.

So, if you do not mind, we will re-convene here early tomorrow to resume our intercourse.

 

*if you have been paying attention.

**and not the - slightly - warmer drizzle that usually marks the English summer.

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