Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mid-Air Perversions

Under-lubrication of the crevices can, of course, lead to friction burns and other unwanted side-effects. So, for this reason it makes sense to always make sure that your sex weasels are fully-lubricated before you attempt to deploy the parachute.

However, having said that, it often seems as though mid-air perversions can be too short-lived for any serious chafing, or similar injury, to take place. Although, it is always a good idea to keep at least some attention on the ground, and how rapidly it is approaching, before landing, as, by way of example, landing in a bramble thicket is not recommended. This is especially true if one is engaged in fully-nude, or even partially-nude, perversions, or if the elk is somewhat skittish at the higher altitudes necessary for the more elaborate airborne perversions, especially those utilising the ladle and the chocolate sauce.

Freefall foreplay can sometimes be problematical too, particularly if the rate of decent tends to make the tutu too cumbersome to handle whilst still keeping a firm grasp on the vicar and the campanologist, especially if holding him by the bells.

So, whilst in most other cases, a liberal coating of the unguents (or even a liberal coated in unguents if politically-correct perversions are your sort of thing) is recommended, as - in these situations - it is often best to err on the side of caution.

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