Friday, July 31, 2009

The Morris Perversions

The Postlethwaite Dalliance is – as you probably know one of the oldest recorded of the so-called Morris perversions. No folk historian is really quite sure which came first, Morris Dancing or the Morris Perversions, whether one grew out of the other, or whether they grew up side by side. Although, if the later was the case then the Morris dancers would have to be very aware of what was going on beside them as one errant step could play havoc with the Morris-based perversions happening right next to them with the obvious possibility of dire consequences for the state of the half time cream cakes.

Of course the historical record does show that such Morris perversions as the Ladies Underarm Dispersement And Curtsey was a common enough Morris perversion as far back as the Middle-Ages, with references to it in both Shakespeare and Chaucer. Shakespeare himself would have course, as a country boy, been very familiar with rural perversions, as some of the titles of his plays suggest: Measure for Measure, As You Like it and of course, most obviously, Antony and Cleopatra. The latter, of course, being one of the most popular of the woodland perversions of the time, utilising both a badger and a mandolin, as well as – in medieval times - a scrivener to hold the shin pads.

Nowadays the Morris perversions, especially since the days of the Marina, fell into disuse before the beginning of the modern Dogging era, ironically, when the estate version would have come into its own. Although, there have been some attempts to revitalise the old Morris perversions through the use of the Land Rover Discovery. However, this has proved somewhat awkward in more urban environments, where parking for orgiastic purposes is severely restricted, especially on main roads during peak hours, it has, though, proved very popular with country folk who find it ideal for their hunting, shooting and shagging lifestyles.

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