The bold underlining of an un-grouted wallaby is not to be undertaken by anyone not fully conversant with some of the more advanced possibilities of the perverted repertoire, at least not without a stout pair of matching oven gloves and a semi-naked assistant librarian in attendance.
Now I’m sure that most of you who come here often, as well as the frequent visitors to this site, will find such advice – contained in this government-issued leaflet to be far too obvious to need restating in any erotic context, and superfluous at best if not downright condescending.
I think all of us gathered here today would, no doubt, agree that to be a fully adept pervert of the first order, or even a merely adequate deviant, does require a sense of responsibility, understanding and maturity. If only to make sure that the putative sensual experience that is about to be undertaken will pass off in the most mutually-satisfying way for all in attendance, that includes any spectators present as well as the participants.
So, if anything that is likely to cause excessive damage to the post-orgy cream cakes, or even to bewilder any semi-restrained and lubricated freelance chiropodist, or even any social workers in the immediate vicinity of the un-grouted wallaby, then such precautions ought to be undertaken as a matter of course.
Just why this excessively-intrusive government sees fit to poke its nose into matters that have until now throughout history been solely a matter for those immediately concerned to regulate for themselves, can only remain a matter of conjecture and concern for the rest of us. This is especially true when everyone involved would prefer to go about their own business in their own way, and when experience has shown that excessive bureaucracy achieves nothing except the opposite of what was intended, to excessively sore inner thighs, and increased trepidation to those mallard ducks that may be present.