Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Wheelbarrows Of Perversion

Of course, it is not necessary to keep the post-orgy wheelbarrows solely for taking home those that have found themselves overcome by the end of the evening’s activities. For there are many garden-related perversions that can easily be adapted for the village hall orgy, except, perhaps, not the Forced Rhubarb Undertaking which is best left for those that are more familiar with a good mulching.

 

Initially the wheelbarrows can not only be used to transport certain garden fetish and perversion accessories to the village hall, such as trellising, patio furniture and – of course – not forgetting the essential bird table, vital for such garden perversions as the Great Tit Extravaganza and the Woodpecker Surprise.

During the village hall orgy itself, the wheelbarrow can be vital for delivering urgent quantities of oils, unguents and lubricants across the hall to wherever there is an urgent call for them. The wheelbarrow can be utilised as well for transporting several of the devices to and from the dildo rail to wherever they too are needed most. Especially when they are needed immediately to allow someone to come to a successful conclusion, or, if there is a sudden emergency, such as a postmistress needing full satiation before your cream horn suffers an outburst under the pressure, thus ruining the half-time break tea and cakes.

It can be seen therefore that at least a brace of wheelbarrows should be available for the entire evening’s proceedings at every village hall orgy. Most villages like to club together and buy their own bespoke orgy wheelbarrows from their Village Orgies funds, perhaps even through a Bring & Come Sale organised specifically to raise such funds usually from the excellent Splodge & Sons (Purveyors of Marital and Sexual aids to the gentry since 1789) catalogue.

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