Monday, August 24, 2009

Making Full Use Of The Fetish Unicycle

Of course, there are many perversions undertaken by the adept pervert such as the Five-Door Hatchback, the Spanish Undertaking and the Magnus Pyke Full-Reverse Over-Gesticulation, to name but three, which make full use of the fetish unicycle in a village orgy context. However, the fetish unicycle does often prove useful when one wishes to make full use of the orgy pitch, fetish area or perversion room where distances are sometimes reasonably considerable. This is especially true if, say, the next name on your orgy card is over the other side of the village hall, tarrying by the fresh cream cakes, or enjoying a nice cup of tea in the interval, whilst you are over by the dildo rail removing any excess moisture from you sex weasel.


The fetish unicycle does also have the added advantage of being highly manoeuvrable, which is a major advantage over say, the usual rural vehicles of choice such as the tractor or 4X4, which can be very awkward to even park, let lone manoeuvre, in a highly attended village orgy, especially if the tractor still has the plough attached. Although, it must be said that for those who enjoy extreme field perversions, a muddy tractor and plough can add to the piquancy of the event.

It must also be said for those who have achieved their Advanced Master of Perversions certificate or who have at least a doctorate in Theoretical and Applied Orgiastics with three years or more experience in the field (muddy or not), then the more elaborate perversions utilising three or more fetish unicyclist and their riders can be a very satisfying experience.

However, it must be stressed that such perversions can only really work if it is agreed beforehand which one of you will be left holding the badger as you change ends when the umpire gets blown at the end of each quarter. Otherwise, there is a danger of over-egging the omelette, especially if using more than one variety of cheese. However, that should be obvious to even the most neophyte orgy-goers.

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