Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Heyday Of The Local Village Weekend Orgy

‘May the lug nuts on your fetish unicycle never grow rusty’. Many of you gathered here today must smile a small smile of recognition at the above phrase. How many times on entering your local village hall for the weekly Sunday afternoon village orgy have you heard those very words of familiar greeting as the attendants take your orgy cape?

In fact, since the late 1950s most village halls in England have had those very words inscribed over the door to their orgy room as a reminder of the great heyday of the local village weekend orgy. In those times not long after the privations of WWII and rationing, and before the swinging 60s when the perverted arts became an intrinsic part of the birthright of each and every freeborn Englishman stroke woman*.

 

This is of course why the village hall orgy has come to take such a central part in the daily lives of rural folk. Not for us has there been the alienation and isolation of the urban lifestyle, for we believe in coming together as often (and as stickily) as possible as our various schedules allow.

Not only that, it seems that it is the dream of most urban and suburban dwellers to escape to the country at some point in their lives. Obviously, those of us already here do our utmost to prevent such an occurrence, but despite our best efforts to keep them away, some do manage to evade the slowly crawling tractors, the veiled threats of unspecified violence and the ominous hints of darkly mysterious sexual shenanigans and move into a rural village.

When we finally get around to acknowledging their existence after the obligatory first decade or so after their arrival these people often do say that it is the simple pleasures of rural life such as the weekend village hall orgy that drew them to the country in the first place. Eventually, should they remain in the village long enough, they are made welcome there and –invariably – go on to be proudly upstanding upholders of the tradition.

 

*And who can say it is not the birthright of every Englishman to have the chance to stroke a woman at some point, or – hopefully – several points in his life?

Post a Comment