The credit crunch has brought along with it a new sense of austerity, which even we here in Little Frigging have not let go by unnoticed. So, the ladies of the Little Frigging Women’s Royal Volunteer Perversion Services (WRVPS) have been using their last few meetings to discuss various ways off introducing more home-made perversions into the regular weekly village orgies in the Village Hall.
The WRVPS have a proud and noble history, set up over 40 years ago by Lady Henrietta Nobgobbler the daughter of the well-remembered Lady Georgina Kneetrembler, who herself did so much for the relief of rural workers and farm labourers in the inter-war years. Henrietta vowed to keep up her mother’s good works by doing all she could to keep the male members of rural villages proud and upstanding.
Consequently, Lady Nobgobbler, set up the WRVPS as a way to deliver the all-important perversions to those members of the community to old, frail, or otherwise indisposed to attend the village hall orgies. Lady Nobgobbler’s first Perversions On Wheels services were often little more than a couple of ladies in a beaten up old Ford Anglia carrying little more than a half-empty bottle of sex weasel oil and a second hand traffic warden’s cap, but to the perversion starved denizens of some of those villages it was a lifeline.
From those humble beginnings the WRVPS has gone from strength to strength to such a point they are now able to mount a fully mobile Orgy On Wheels, including fetish unicycles, chocolate-coated librarians and fresh warm custard, to any elderly or indisposed pervert or deviation within a ten-mile range.
This is, I’m sure you must agree, a very noble endeavour indeed, and I would – therefore – hope that you will agree to attend the next WRVPS Bring-And-Buy Fund-Raising Orgy where any donations you make will be received gratefully by the ladies on the tables.