Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Master Of Advanced Sexual Perversions Exam

There are times when you have to consider seriously the best way of applying the warm custard to the postmistress without necessarily altering your compass bearing when you want to make sure that she is in the optimum position for instigating an underarm sex-spatula self-basting manoeuvre without unnecessarily startling any of the chickens that may be in the vicinity. Then, of course, there is the not inconsiderable danger that the alarm clock will go off, thus alerting the night watchman, before you re ready to turn the page in the instruction manual and set free the homing pigeons in readiness for the barbecue later that evening.

Now, by this time, you will be rightly concerned about the shepherd’s pie, and whether he will want it back in the near future. This is only natural and should be disregarded, as long as you have the necessary postage stamps and enough suitable wrapping paper to post it back to him when the time arrives.

Once you have done al of the above, then it will be time to move on to question 2 on your Master Of Advanced Sexual Perversions exam paper, after – of course – releasing the invigilator from the harness and wiping any excess moisture from the penguin.

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