Thursday, September 10, 2009

Summer Shorts Fetishism

The use of sandals, socks and shorts has been a staple of the English perversion scene now for many a summer. Many people when they first espy someone kitted out in this fetish gear wrongly assume that it must be some kind of tourist. However, we who live in picturesque areas of the countryside and in photogenic small villages are adept at spotting tourists (and separating them from their money) and take the word of an expert. These are not tourists.

 

The summer shorts fetish is a very unusual deviation in that the participant usually gets his, or even her*, satisfaction from the expressions of horror emitted by those who are forced by daily circumstance to confront the terror of the shorts, often in a full-frontal encounter.

Of course, still within living memory (if Old Feebletrousers is actually living) the shorts fetishist had his activities confined to the sports field, or – if not considered too much a danger to the public – the scout hut.

However, recent moral laxity has allowed the shorts wearer out into public, with seemingly little or no shame or stigma attached to the practice any longer. To many of us, this moral turpitude is a very damaging development. Allowing people to wear shorts in the relative privacy of their own home is one, thing. A case could even be made for allowing them to be utilised in the more relaxed confines of a village hall orgy, or – even at a stretch – on the perversion pitch itself. However, some things are a step too far.

It is time someone thought of the dangers of allowing these sorts of people to parade their deviations out on the public thoroughfare. For we should be aware of the concomitant dangers of not only what damage it could do to the fragile psyches of our children, but the very real danger that if it is allowed to continue unchecked any longer it could also frighten the horses.

 

*For in the modern era, much to the consternation of more hidebound** traditionalists, some women have in recent decade taken up the shorts fetish with alacrity

**In such case it doesn’t mater what sort of hide one likes to bind oneself in. For the purposes of this article, we will regard all hide fetishists as being roughly the same. However, should this article have been about hide fetishists then we would of course, make special reference to those who achieve sexual satisfaction from wearing the hides of freshwater social workers.

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