Friday, October 23, 2009

Furtive Sexual Dalliances In The Pet Food Aisle

Here we begin with just these radishes, a vibraphone and your collection of luminous underwater cheese-grating accoutrements. It is not easy making the freshly-oiled and naked social worker comply with all the newly-implemented EU Working Directive legislation, especially whilst utilising the smaller of the three specially-designated ladles to half-fill the watering can placed between her knees. However, while she is lying their tightly bound and optimally-positioned in the tupping harness with her clipboard at the ready, we have no choice but to make sure her box is properly ticked before moving on to the next item on the agenda, providing you have remembered to bring the raspberries.

 

Having said that (and I must have done, otherwise why would you be staring at me with such rapt admiration. Well, it must be rapt admiration, unless you have just remembered you left your favourite fireman marinating in exotic unguents back in the perversion shed on your allotment… again).

Still, let us not tarry a moment longer. Go and fetch the spanner! I need to adjust my loin-girding before sallying forth, that is if Sally has finished her third, and venturing down to our favourite supermarket for furtive sexual dalliances in the pet food aisle whilst you reach up towards the hamster bedding on the uppermost level of the shelving unit.

After that we can come back home for a nice cup of tea and some hot-buttered strumpets.

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