Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Philosophy Of Applied And Extremely Moist Perversions

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Trellising Spamblocker is not – as yet – a name on everyone’s lips, but surely that can only be a matter of time. As cognoscenti of the perverted arts, the erstwhile reader of this… this… whatever it is should well know that Spamblocker is the world’s leading Philosopher of Applied and Theoretical Extremely Moist Perversions. Currently emeritus Professor of Naughty Doings at Oxwich University, Spamblocker is probably best known for her almost definitive work of the Philosophy of Perversions: The Joy Of Sheep.

Not since Wittgenstein’s now infamous quote, ‘That of which we cannot speak we must draw detailed and numbered diagrams for the discerning connoisseur’ has there been such a thorough investigator of the philosophy of moist and naughty doings as the work of Professor Spamblocker. It was Spamblocker who first put perversion and other naughty doings at the centre of Post-Post-Modernist thought with her contention that ‘being rude is the very essence of what it is to be human, and – therefore – to be extremely naughty is to become an even more fuller and well-rounded person.’

However, Spamblocker is not only an accomplished theoretical pervert, she with the assistant of both Blue and Green shifts of the Gower volunteer fire service – with occasional assistance from her local amateur rugby team too has become the world’s leading expert on applied perversions too. For not only have her books become the best selling philosophy books of the decade, the DVDs of her work with the firemen, the rugby players and the local regimental goat have all topped the charts too.

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