Friday, November 20, 2009

The Erotic Use Of Cardigans

The cheese-based perversions usually undertaken as the nights draw in when winter approaches, usually have the advantage that they can be undertaken whilst wearing a cardigan, or for the more sexually-adventurous, a pair of mittens and a scarf.

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It is always advisable to approach certain of the more… er… robust cheeses, such as Stilton or Gorgonzola wearing at least a pair of gloves anyway. In the case of Roquefort, it goes without saying that one should always – ideally – be wearing a hat, especially if one is about to place it anywhere near the erogenous zones of a post mistress as she becomes aroused by the carefully selected photographs of Val Doonican placed around the boudoir.

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Now, as you well know, the cheese should be placed just to the left of the trainee supermarket manager. This is especially important if one is bowling from the northern end of the perversion pitch (always, of course, providing your team has won the toss-off and has elected to field for the first six rounds of the 12 overs of the first quarter of the second half).

You should then have no trouble in getting the librarian, or her assistant, to wear the necessary cardigans that make the use of the Double Gloucester such an enticing prospect at this time of the year, ensuring a warming glow right down to the very ends of your pickled onions.

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