Today we bring you a Brand New Regular* Feature:
Maureen’s Problem Page
(where Maureen Trouser-Quandary brings her many years of experience in the field** of rural perversions to bear in order to help those who have problems of a more intimate nature that would benefit from a full and frank airing in the gaze of the general public (or at least the one(s) that turns up here for a gawk.)
Anyway, without any further ado, here is the first such problem.
A Miss Nobgobbler of Ludlow writes:
Dear Maureen, no matter what I do – even adopting the famous Crouching Stockbroker Hidden Washing Mangle stance – it seems I can keep no chicken intrigued for more than a few seconds, even when totally naked.
Well, as you well know the ancient art of Chicken intriguing is much more difficult than the greats – such as Nasturtium Cheeseincident - make it seem. I think Miss Nobgobbler you are going to just have to face facts and accept that you are just bloody rubbish at it.
So, I suggest you just pull yourself together, stop your whining and get yourself a proper job that doesn’t involve subjecting all and sundry to the dubious pleasures of your naked form.
Hope this helps.
Readers (either of you) of this… er… whatever it is are free to submit any… er… difficulties or problems they may be experiencing in the comments section of this blog for Maureen to disdain to answer (and the rest of us to snigger over), if they so wish.
*Regular in this sense means more or less when I can be arsed to get around to contemplating it.
**If wet, in the barn.