Friday, November 13, 2009

On Environmentally–Friendly Perversions


Even if your eco-friendly wind-powered Throbbing Weasel 9000 intimate massage device is fully-charged beforehand, it is always best to use it on some local promontory, or other such spot that allows its turbine blades to keep it fully recharged, or else it could run out of power at that all-important vital moment. You will have to agree that there is nothing quite so frustrating as such an occurrence, especially if it means you will have to re-apply the butter to the traffic warden before recommencing.

Still, at least you will be able to feel the now-mandatory feeling of environmental smugness at having achieve a carbon-neutral state of arousal and – if the device did not need recharging at the vital moment – satiation, without having to traipse off and go and plant a tree or somesuch other bit of dubious foolery.

Some of our more committed perverts have experimented with using recycled fetish gear. Apart from some disappointments with recycled cardboard handcuffs and whips when states of over-moistness have been achieved, most of these experiments have – I’ve been recently informed – been a success.

I will report back to you in greater detail on these matters when – and if - I can be arsed.

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