Friday, November 20, 2009

Watching Paint Dry

[The Friday Special -

A Guest Post By Grand Old Uncle Stagnant]

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If you were to grease the underside leading edge of any vicar, or related ecumenically-inclined person of similar standing, with a strong oil-based greasing agent, before introducing him – or her – to your chicken flock then – indeed, and to my mind, quite rightly – questions would be asked in parliament.

Whether or not those would be interesting, or – indeed – relevant questions is a mater for another day and a more robust set of underpants than the ones I currently reside in. But, be that as it may, and – for the sake of argument – we may as well grant such a set of circumstances, I see from the way you are fondling your per aardvark, it is the day for applying a fresh coat of paint to your fetish tandem.

No wonder you have arrived here with such alacrity, naked except for your bejewelled perversion cape and cycling clips, for it is not often that one gets the chance – especially with today’s hectic lifestyles – to settle down in a nice comfy chair (with the small mammal of one’s choice) to watch paint dry.

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