Thursday, December 24, 2009

How To Improve Your Sex Spatula Grip

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Anyway, here we are again….

Aren’t we?

Oh… right then….

Well, if you just bear with me for a moment….

No?

Oh, right. I’ll put my clothes back on then. Sorry.

You see, from the way you were standing there with your sex spatulas poised above the badger unguent-application table, I – quite naturally – assumed that you were a VAT Inspector.

Sorry. I’m sure it will wash out without leaving a stain…. Eventually.

You see, I don’t normally offer one-to-one tuition… well, not when Maureen is around, anyway. Especially not when she is experimenting with some new restraints and looking for a willing volunteer upon whom to utilise some of her more esoteric devices for some fully-consensual intimate probings.

So, my dear, if you will just pop on this wallaby-grouting apron and follow me, discretely, down to Tupping Shed No. 17, I’ll give you some practical advice on how to improve your sex spatula grip for this evening’s All-Village Christmas Eve orgy.

All that now remains is for me to wish my reader (and her friend) the compliments (and the condiments too, of course) of the season.

So:

Happy Christmas Everyone!

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