Thursday, December 24, 2009

How To Improve Your Sex Spatula Grip


Anyway, here we are again….

Aren’t we?

Oh… right then….

Well, if you just bear with me for a moment….


Oh, right. I’ll put my clothes back on then. Sorry.

You see, from the way you were standing there with your sex spatulas poised above the badger unguent-application table, I – quite naturally – assumed that you were a VAT Inspector.

Sorry. I’m sure it will wash out without leaving a stain…. Eventually.

You see, I don’t normally offer one-to-one tuition… well, not when Maureen is around, anyway. Especially not when she is experimenting with some new restraints and looking for a willing volunteer upon whom to utilise some of her more esoteric devices for some fully-consensual intimate probings.

So, my dear, if you will just pop on this wallaby-grouting apron and follow me, discretely, down to Tupping Shed No. 17, I’ll give you some practical advice on how to improve your sex spatula grip for this evening’s All-Village Christmas Eve orgy.

All that now remains is for me to wish my reader (and her friend) the compliments (and the condiments too, of course) of the season.


Happy Christmas Everyone!

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