Friday, December 18, 2009

Inter-Village Orgy Team Squad Trials

Now, as you know, today is a special day in the Little Frigging Village Calendar, as it is the day we hold the trials for those wishing to join the Little Frigging Inter-Village Orgy team squad for the upcoming season. For those gentlemen who wish to apply, being upcoming is an almost vital requirement, almost as essential as it is for any ladies who apply to be fully accommodating, and aware of the ardours they will have to overcome whilst out on the orgy field.

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Of course, any potential member of the squad should be familiar with the basic rules, tactics and so forth of the Inter-village orgy. It is no good going out there and not knowing which way to pass the devices when under pressure from the opposition’s centre fondler, or in which hand to hold the mallard duck when the other team’s gropekeeper is all that lies between you and you scoring. Knowing how to get you end away whilst the opposition’s full hatchbacks are bearing down on your exposed flanks is not something that one would normally have to deal with in a, say, run of the mill village orgy, or a post office queue on any day (except Thursdays, obviously). Out on the orgy pitch though, it happens several times in each of the seven quarters of all three halves of an average match.

So, you will – should you wish to apply – have to be ready for anything and everything as well as the ever-present danger of the onset of the dread itchy-knee.

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