Still, there you have it - surprisingly warm and not a little moist. Look after it well, my chosen one; it will come to be of great use to you in the near future as you wander the highways, byways and unnecessary large number of cul-de-sacs in this strange, wonderful and excessively damp land of ours. Of course, the time of legends is long over now. The time when – it is said – that there were chip shops as far as the eye could see and great herds of shopping trolleys swept majestically across the wide open spaces of the car parks of this grey and damp land.
However, my little torque wrench, times change; and we should be glad otherwise we would surely drown in a never-ending sea of Tuesdays.
As Grand Uncle Stagnant so wisely slurred last night in The Pervert’s Appendage; ‘you can never perform the same perversion twice*’. For even if you are in the village hall on the same orgy night with the same cake shop manageress, the same unguents lubricating the same weasel restraints, with the same suitably be-custarded traffic warden still having the same glint in her eye, it will still be different, if only through the effect the passage of time has on everything.
*He did – of course – acknowledge his debt to Heraclitus for the idea behind his remark.