Wednesday, December 16, 2009

On the Current Paucity Of Cream Cakes At Village Orgies

Of course, once you have attached the nozzle to the icing bag then it is only a matter of making sure the assistant librarian remains lying still long enough for you to finish icing her weasel and place the glace cherries in the traditional places*.


Now, you may be wondering why the weasel needs icing, especially as we move towards that time of year when an un-iced weasel is usually more popular. To my mind you would be fully within your rights to ask such a question.

Pity I can’t be arsed to answer it though, but there you go. You have to be grateful for what you get these days, especially as the budgetary restraints under which the village orgies now take place means that it has been several weeks since any of us in Little Frigging have even so much as got close to a fondant fancy, let alone a Belgian bun.

Of course, it is a tradition at village orgies to have a selection of fresh cream cakes ready for the interval just after when the umpire is blown for us to change ends. Such is the lack of finances available for refreshments we have had to resort to each being given a single lick of the cake shop manageress in the hope of locating some spilt cream or an errant sponge cake crumb that may have become lodged about her person.


*Usually one just outside Wolverhampton and the other near the outskirts of Glasgow, providing it is Tuesday, of course.

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