Tuesday, December 8, 2009

On Match Fitness In An Inter-Village Orgy Squad

It is not often acknowledged by those adept at the intricate arts employed by Inter-Village Orgy team members that sometimes they may not be what might be called ‘match-fit’. We are all – no doubt – aware that occasionally some gentlemen, not we hasten to add ourselves personally, of course, do have trouble establishing the full rigour of their ardour. Also, we have heard rumours that some ladies – though not one we have ever had the fortune to have a dalliance with – do sometimes succumb to what I believe is called ‘a headache’.

Of course, one expects such happenings to be confined to the dull and sordid couplings undertaken by those forced by misfortune to suffer the suburban – or worse - the urban lifestyle, far from the refreshing invigoration so often occasioned by being in the near vicinity of a flock of comely young sheep.

Out here in the true rural heartland of this once great nation, we do not expect our men to be anything other than firmly upstanding and ready for action at the drop of a milkmaid’s thong. Our women too, we expect to be ready for vigorous haystack-style action as soon as they see their local blacksmith taking a firm grasp of his tool and advancing towards them.

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So, then let us hear no more of this limp and defeatist talk and let us stride manfully and/or womanfully off into the sunset together for a nice relaxing early open-air winter orgy in the Upper Lower field.

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