Thursday, December 17, 2009

Pre-Christmas Orgy Preparations

Some stoats are bigger than some other stoats. It may come as a shock to those of you not amongst the cognoscenti, but I'm afraid it is true. Other things you may not be aware of are - I'm sure - just as easily rectifiable with just a little effort and application on your part.

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As we speak of effort and application, the mind naturally turns toward thoughts of village orgies. Now, it has been a long tradition in Little Frigging that the last Pre-Christmas open-air orgy on the village green takes place on the third weekend in December.

This year will be no exception, the recent unseasonably mild weather being somewhat of a boon in this respect, especially to the more mature of our participants. They often find the more pleasurable aspects of the evening somewhat marred, in the ensuing days, by stiffness of the all-important knee and elbow joints caused by the cold and damp ground so common at this time of the year.

So, there has been some agitation to move the whole event indoors, into the village hall. This would mean, of course, an end to the traditional Immolation of the Estate Agent, which normally sets the proceedings off with a flourish. As setting fire to an estate agent indoors can - sometimes - be problematic, the traditionalists amongst us are opposed to the idea. Although, as we too grow older, we begin to appreciate that the elderly folk may well, indeed, have a point, if only on this one weekend each year.

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