Friday, December 4, 2009

Some Badgers Are Bigger Than Others

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Some badgers are bigger than others, so my advice is to always carry the larger sized bottles of lubricating unguents in your perversion utility belt, or sex webbing, preferably in an easily-accessible location, just in case of any sudden hasty reluctance, or second thoughts, on the part of your small woodland mammal of choice. Although, if there are any reluctant parts on – or in – ANY putative partner the pervert of conscience should always withdraw to a safe distance until full consent is re-established. This should apply in ALL circumstances, even if it means having to have the devices fully recalibrated by a qualified Sexual And Perverse Devices Engineer before continuing.

Moving on – and, hopefully, leaving the woodland creature fully satiated before so doing – let us discuss something of more import and significance, if only I could think of something….

Ah….

Perhaps not, though, especially as you are still slightly sore behind the left knee from the last time we tried that. Take my advice and always try to be a little more circumspect about mounting any librarian in future. In fact, it would be better to make the librarian aware of your presence in their immediate vicinity BEFORE placing your feet into the stirrups, as a surprised librarian is quite likely to attempt to throw off anyone who catches them unawares. That is just the nature of librarians, I’m afraid.

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