Monday, December 7, 2009

Various Provocative Stances - A Treatise


I was once* inundated with a request to explain fully the Various Provocative Stances utilised by one's undressed nubile young lady for such things as Indifferent Badger Procurement, and other related activities such as All-Nude Chicken Intriguing. So, after allowing a decent enough interval to elapse so that my interlocutor has in all probability got bored and wandered off to more accommodating alternatives to… er… whatever this is, I will now do my best to offer as little advice as I feel I can get away with.

Of course, there are several specialist publications that deal with these stances in all the wide variations thereof and therein. These publications can often be found on the upper shelves of certain newsagents, and for the connoisseur they are also available by mail order.

The web has – of course – enabled those with a keen academic interest in underdressed young ladies to peruse their vocation with a diligence denied to us of earlier generations. We, of the pre-internet age, had to spend hours and much shoe-leather seeking out the one dodgy newsagent in the neighbourhood who had no qualms against selling such adult educational materials to those clearly well under-age for such edification.

In short, then, I would humbly suggest that those seeking such information to go and bloody-well find it out for themselves. After all, isn’t seeking out pictures of underdressed young ladies what Google was invented for?


*A fair while ago now. It was – if I remember correctly – from a certain Mrs Trellis of North Wales.

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