Now, as those of you already in your Halloween fetish gear – and can the witches be careful were they prod their brooms unless suitable lubrication has been pre-applied – let us go about the annual Little Frigging Halloween late evening Fully-consensual Adult Trick-or-Tupping walk around the village.
Some of you may be more than a little familiar – or even have a little familiar you enjoy stroking on a late autumn evening by the fireside – with the somewhat Bowdlerised version of Trick or Tupping undertaken by children in other places in the UK and, of course, out in the Colonies.
The children’s version is - obviously – called trick or treat. This is where the householder forced to answer the door to a gaggle of chocolate-besmeared and E-number hyper-activated young hooligans demanding chocolate with menaces whilst wearing one of their mother’s best bed sheets with one and a half unaligned eyeholes poked into it. This, you will be more than glad to hear, has little or nothing to do with the much older traditional rural celebration of things bumping in the night that is Trick-or-Tupping.
Trick-or-Tupping dates back even beyond the very early days of Cliff Richard when rural England was a much more eerie place at night. A time and place where many a young maiden would be sore a-feared to step out at night in case she was ravished by ghosts or had a pair of goolies dangling spookily in front of her face as she made her way along the thoroughfare.
Anyway, on All-Hallows Eve, if a denizen of Little Frigging answers a knock on their door to find a brace or more of suitably be-fetish geared persons demanding a dam good tupping, if the householder can provide the tupping harnesses, then he or she is in for a splendid evening’s entertainment, otherwise the householder will have to pay some kind of forfeit.