Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Leisure Centre, My Arse

[A Guest Post By Grand Uncle Stagnant]

This is all the cheese we will ever need. I have a small container. We could put things in it and then we could place it next to the cheese. Then, each and every one of us could gather in a circle around the cheese and the adjacent container to sing the praises of Ludovic Kennedy and his special friend Nigel the wombat.

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What is the point of all this marmalade now the skies are green with all the greenness of the green things?

Naughty nudie nakedness. She had no clothes on, and she was naked in the nude and naughty with no clothes on, and her naked nudity was all there, and it was lovely.

Pig bananas in the chip shop. Goat apples in the supermarket. Chicken pears in the Cobblers and sheep oranges in the newsagent. Is it now any wonder the post office has horse plums infesting the greeting card racks?

Animal fruit everywhere and even the public convenience at the other end of the High Street bear the stains of rabbit pineapples.

I shall complain to the animal fruit attendant at the Public Swimming Baths - Leisure Centre, my arse.

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