Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Socrates and Stoats

Now, then, here we are again. This is quite useful, because if one of us were over there, then we would be far too far apart for meaningful intercourse to take place. As well as making the fair and equal distribution of the fresh cream cakes slightly more than problematical.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Socrates himself cover this very point - in his usual rather thorough way - in his dialogue, with Stan the Twat, concerning the often subtle differences between natural justice and a slightly bewildered stoat?*


Anyway, be that as it may - unless it isn't, let us move carefully forward in order to broach today's fascinating subject…, which is….


I don't seem to have one with me. This is very strange. I'm sure I had a subject this morning when I left the house. I distinctly remember checking all my pockets - which is quite quick when all I’m are wearing is: the obligatory rural flat cap, lawyer-sty mucking-out wellies, and - of course - my bejewelled lecturing thong and braces.

Ah, hang on….

I remember where I left it.

Just wait here….

I'll only be a minute….

Or two….


*But, as A.J. Ayer pointed out in his seminal Language, Truth and Stoats, 'here Socrates is talking (to use a professional philosopher's phrase) Utter Bollocks! True, in the Platonic Forms sense, it could - theoretically - be difficult to tell them apart, especially if the stoat is quite bewildered, in reality the stoat is much more the furriest of the two**.

**That is, under strict Philosophical laboratory conditions, of course.

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