Friday, February 5, 2010

On The Job Training

It is not often that one gets the chance to talk frankly about the unguents, scents, and lotions best used to keep a VAT Inspector at its peak, primed and ready for various perverted practices involving vibrating devices, fresh cream cakes and several small furry mammals of the season.


This is not one of those chances either.

Still, anyway. There are – as you will see – still plenty of items on the agenda, set out for your perusal. If, by way of example, we take the first item: Matters arising from the last meeting you will see there is the matter of the rather large and unfortunate stain left on one of the secretaries from sometime during our last meeting. Also, the clerical assistant seems to be still wearing the handcuffs, and very little else.

Don't get me wrong, I do support the idea of work experience, but I do feel that is taking ‘on the job training’ a little too far for my liking in what is – after all – a very busy office.

It was to prevent such outbreak of the rude and naughty that we introduced our special 'Undress and Go Down' Fridays where working colleagues can bond together in as many and varied ways as their time schedules, working practices and desire for moist naughtiness allows. This does – of course – mean that they will, in future, not put in spurious claims for overtime for 'working late', when – in reality – they are just arranging secret trysts for the times after the rest of their colleagues have already departed for the evening.

So, not only is the workforce kept happy – if sometimes a little tired, they are not doing it on time and a half.

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