Now, as it happens, the Little Frigging Ladies Synchronised fondling display team are already to give the annual Little Frigging mixed-doubles fondling demonstration that – as a tradition dating back to the week before the introduction of colour TV into the locality – is both ancient and noble.
Now, those of you who have not had the pleasure of receiving a synchronised fondling from a team of experts can well imagine, it is not an experience for those not able to stand firm under such an onslaught. This is especially true when the highly dexterous fingers of the ladies are moving around your person in a manner that brings gasps of astonishment and delight to the watching audience.
It is a strong man who is not almost overcome by the time the ladies have finished even their first ministrations and are ready to commence on some of the more complex manoeuvrings that denote a synchronised fondling team at the height of their powers. Such manoeuvres as: ‘’The Crouching Mangle Operative, Hidden Sock Retrieval, The Pummelling Panel Beater, The Hopping Tax Inspector and so on often leave many a volunteer fondlee with tears in his eyes in gratitude for the way the Little Frigging Ladies Synchronised fondling display team have taken him in hand. Many a gentleman in the audience too has to sit there once the display is over as he contemplates such a fate befalling himself, unless he immediately takes himself in hand and feels himself swelling up with pride at what he has witnessed.