Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Space Hopper-Based Perversions

The pogo stick is – as you probably know - very useful in a village orgy context. So I am sure many of you (both) gathered here today will, of course, be wondering about whether the humble space hopper could perform a similar function, say in a more domesticated setting such as your own front room, garden shed, supermarket checkout queue or local pub car park at closing time.

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I – for one, or for a few times, at least – see no reason why this device should not be utilised in such a manner between fully consenting adults.

For example, many ladies of my acquaintance have, with a few small (or not so small) modifications, adapted the space hopper to make riding one a memorable experience for a suitably under-dressed lady wishing to seat herself in a very fulfilling manner with the aid of –say – a strap-on appendence firmly attached to the seating area of the space hopper.

Indeed, for such gentlemen interested in receiving visitors at the back door, as it were, a similar adaptation can easily be accomplished. By way of example, I’m… er… reliably led to believe that the Strap-On Sisters themselves have - in the past - oft firmly seated and fastened some miscreant onto such a device before pushing him, astride the space hopper, down the long circular staircase that leads downwards from the top of Strap-On Tower to teach him the error of his ways.

In fact, as long they are ridden with due care and attention for the prevailing bouncing conditions I see no reason why a space hopper should not become a fundamental part of anyone’s perversion repertoire. Perhaps, in time the space hopper may become as essential as the sex spatulas, watermelon, badger spleen oil, cream cakes and split-crotch donkey jacket without which – to what remains of my mind – no erotic experience is complete.

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