It is almost the season for sustainable goat tickling sticks to be on sale in fashionable organic hat shops once again. That is providing you are a fully accredited Olympic standard Strip Ludo player with all your own head gaskets.
Now it is not often said, especially by professional mime artists, that a young man in possession of a shopping trolley of his own, needs to be married to the lady who buys his underwear, but – nevertheless - I think not all of us will look askance at the figures for his last tadpole audit without wanting to by not entirely un-French, whatever the wind direction.
Despite the threat of climate change, I am sure too – that those are your own knees, and not specially hired for this purpose in order to fool the VAT inspector.
However, should you wish to play all-nude crazy golf in the potting shed of your own choosing with a bevy of Scandinavian teenage wax polishers, then I am sure that is entirely your own business. Therefore any photographs or videos taken of the proceedings will be used purely for educational purposes, or even educating porpoises, if that I – as they say – the bag you are into, but I cannot help wondering just why you need this many tins of sardines in tomato sauce.