Monday, May 24, 2010

Somer is y-comen in

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Various badger-related incidents, indifferent and otherwise have kept us very busy over the last few weeks. It has resulted in me, personally, having to undergo the ordeal of interviewing several nubile young ladies for the post of Indifferent Badger Procurement Assistant as the newly-purchased machine has been working to full capacity, and has - therefore - meant a return to the more traditional methods in order to keep on top of the situation.

Luckily, the badger indifference season is almost over, that is if summer does actually arrive this year (July 27th has been confidently predicted to be this year's day of summer, again, by the village's expert weather predictors). So, quite soon then the badgers will begin to think about taking their summer holidays. Consequently, over the next few weeks the woodland paths and meadow walks will - once again - be festooned with discarded holiday brochures. This means - for us - much more work, for should an errant recently-discarded holiday brochure happen to be blown into the hairstylist pens then there is a very serious risk of a stampede as the hairstylists all rush to be first with the brochure. This could, of course, result in the disaster of chipped nail varnish, smeared make-up or even ruined hairstyles, which could set back our hairstylist breeding programme by several weeks, as the injured hairstylists build up the courage to be seen out in public once again.

So, if you are out in the countryside over the next few weeks and you see any discarded holiday brochures blowing in the wind, do the local hairstylist breeders a favour and put it in one of the many receptacles provided for such purposes. Thank you.

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