And so begins the commencement of the initialisation of the start of the hunting season. Feral stockbrokers and wild city dealers will be emerging from their weekend country cottages and rural retreats all over the countryside as the summer holiday season gets under way - often in their rural camouflage of wax jacket, flat cap and green wellies - and uttering their weird ululations as they scour the countryside for gullible breeding partners.
It is sad, but necessary, that these interlopers be culled, mainly for the well-being of other country-dwellers, before they do manage to breed and before they contaminate more of this green and pleasant land with their strange unnatural city ways.
Soon, if their pernicious attitudes are allowed to spread unchecked, such traditional country activities as animal 'husbandry', the fleecing of gullible tourists and marriage between siblings will go the way of witch ducking and Wicker Estate Agent Immolation. Truly, it will be another sad day and a great loss for the countryside traditions and yet another attack on our rural way of life.
If such influxes of alien life forms do not go unchecked then soon there will be no difference between urban and rural, and then where will we be?
I'll tell you, all living in cities, that's what, and that's no life for a real man and/or woman and/or those yet to decide.
You mark my words*.
*Out of ten, please.