Monday, June 14, 2010

I Blog Therefore I Am


But even if the helicopters of your desire are hovering over the open fields of perversion just like the way grapefruits don’t hang over the exposed navel piercings of recumbent trainee nursing assistants lying in urban parks during the lunch hour, we will still have our sex spatulas at the ready for when the cost accountants come calling in the moonlight of an early summer evening.

I know you will have already regarded the above as … well… just the usual, but I must plead a slight feeling of being below par at the moment, which is preventing my ascension to the usual heights of eloquence I usually stumble towards here on the upper slopes of what has become known as the blogospherical ponderthon.

For – in this what has become our modern world can anything be said to truly exist unless it has appeared, or been commented upon, in at least one blog? Things it seems become more real dependent upon how many blogs make reference to them. If you – gentle reader – do not appear in a blog post then you – to all intents and porpoises – do not exist.

Therefore, it makes me wonder why on earth I’m bothering to talk to you. Consequently, I’ll wish you good day and ask you not to inconvenience me by non-existing around here - and getting under my feet when I’m so busy - in future.

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