But my spatula is indifferent to the fate of the Brazilian Toast-Surveyors, even if they do pose naked on the calendars of all the chiropodists in Tewksbury.
You may laugh, but I know all the secrets of your cutlery drawer, and why you adopt that stance when in the presence of trainee hairdressers.
Now, we have a certain quantity of string and we are no longer afraid to reveal its whereabouts to the authorities, even though the licence we have is out of date.
You think you know?
You think you understand?
She may be the naked and well-oiled table-tennis champion of your dreams, but do you really know what she gets up to in the dead of the night with those Ordinance Survey maps, the cucumber sandwiches and the entire membership of her local amateur rugby union team?
However, we do not possess identical donkeys, or have knees that have touched royalty, so maybe we can go down to the sea today to point at the seagulls one final time.