Wednesday, July 7, 2010

In The Grip Of A Dairy Maid

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Now, a fully-consensual undertaking by any brace of dairy maids of your acquaintance to help you achieve a finer point to your proceedings is of course not something to ever gainsay. However, it should be borne in mind that dairy maids have – by dint of their many years experience of grappling with the under-hangings of a herd of dairy cows – something of a grip on them. So it would do you good to remember to always mind your manners, say please and – especially – thank you, in particularly when they have a firm grasp of your predicament.

It is a truth universally acknowledged – especially by Grand Uncle Stagnant, who has many, many years of experience in this field (That is, especially that bit of this field down by the river under the shade of the old oak tree) that there is no-one finer that you could wish for to handle your obligations than a brace of willing dairy maids, and that it is always a wise choice to place yourself fully into their hands for a mutually rewarding experience.

After all, it must be said that if you wish to have the top of your cream tasted by someone who is bound to take delight in your outpourings and to appreciate them with the taste of a connoisseur, then a dairy maid is – of course – the ideal choice.

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