Now once the okapi is back in the office and reformatting the hard disk on the unicycle we can see about changing into our bespoke fetish gear. That is – of course – if you have remembered to bring the tin opener for the tinned peaches.
It is not often, of course, that fetishes utilising the erotic potential of tinned fruit come into their own – unless they are in a light syrup, of course.
For most instances of the perverse arts and science that do involve fruit, it is usually best to use fresh fruit, except – most obviously – in the case of mandarin segments. In which case, you must be very careful to make sure you remove them from the tin before even attempting to apply them to the erogenous zones of any nearby postmistress or assistant librarian.
It goes without saying that the use of strawberries (tinned or fresh) in any erotic encounter with an assistant quantity surveyor does pose several quite interesting problems, but as it goes without saying I won’t waste your valuable time repeating them here.
As for the use of the tin of pineapple rings, there are many ladies who find them quite useful as a garnishment to any nearby upstanding man. However, those wishing to undertake such an act with our very own Strom Thighhammer are advised to purchase the extra-large catering-sized tin in order to get the full effect.